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Raising a pre-teen or teenage daughter (or son) is not easy
and can cause any parent a lot of
stress. There’s so much to worry about – dating, drugs,
alcohol, sex, school grades, just to name a few. But one
crucial element often gets overlooked until it manifests
itself in extreme ways (like through an eating disorder).
I’m talking about self-image. It’s extremely important that
parents ensure that their children have a positive
self-image, especially in relation to their body. The key
to ensuring strong self-esteem and a positive body image
starts with the parent. If you don’t feel positive about
your self-image, then how can you expect your children to?
While this is important for both genders, it is especially
critical for raising a healthy daughter. And beginning the
lessons when a girl is young is imperative, so don’t wait
until it’s too late – teaching your daughter to feel good
about her body needs to start at a very young age.
Eating disorder experts say girls are developing eating
disorders as young as 5 and 6 years old. And a recent study
indicated that 70% of the sixth-grade girls they surveyed
said they began worrying about their weight between ages 9
and 11. Why are so many young girls thinking that they are
fat? Many are obsessing about their weight because they have
parents who are preoccupied with their own poor body images.
While the statistics are disheartening, the good news is
that there’s a lot that can be done to help our children
have positive self-images. And, even small changes that
parents make can help. Here are few tips to help your
children avoid warped and negative body images:
Establish a “no diet talk” rule. When your children are
nearby, DON’T talk about dieting or how fat you feel! This
is extremely important. Remember, kids are listening all the
time (even when you think that they aren’t – especially
then). So, even though asking your spouse or friend “do I
look fat in this?” may seem innocent, it can have a
life-altering effect on your kids when they repeatedly hear
it.
Parents aren’t the only adults that influence their
children. Set the “no diet talk” rule mentioned above for
all adults that are around your children. This means you
shouldn’t allow your friends, parents, siblings, neighbors,
or anyone else to talk about being fat or being on a diet
when they are around your children.
Set a good example. If your children never see you engage
in
fitness or if they hear you complain about working out,
then they are going to have a negative image of exercise.
Let them know that you workout to stay healthy, to be strong
and to have more energy and stamina (so you can keep up with
them)!
Get your kids involved in sports. Experts say that
playing sports really helps build confidence and improves
self-esteem (especially for girls).
Teach your children to include physical activity as part
of their daily routine. But don’t force them to exercise.
Make sure that the physical activity is seen as something
fun to do rather than teaching them to think of exercise as
a necessary evil. Good activities include taking a nightly
family walk, turning off the t.v. and instead turning music
on that you all can dance to, or taking a weekend family
bike ride.
Try to prepare (or if you are short are time purchase)
healthy meals. And teach them the importance of
good nutrition. Don’t let them have the misconception
that there are “good” and “bad” foods. If a kid thinks that
candy is a “bad” food, then naturally they will just want it
more. Just try to encourage your kids to eat a balanced diet
each day and to eat sugary and/or fatty foods in moderation.
Remember that something as small as talking about losing
weight in front of your kids can have very detrimental
effects on their self-image as they age. Damaging behavior
learned from a parent at a young age can take years for a
child to overcome. So, the sooner you start incorporating
the tips above into your life, the better for you child. But
don’t forget that it has to start with you – make sure that
you are incorporating healthy fitness and eating rituals
into your daily routine and that you have a positive body
image (no matter what your size or shape is)! |