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Ezine - January 2005
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Self Esteem
By Fiona Gordon
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Self-esteem is very important for your physical,
psychological, and spiritual health. Enhancing your
self-esteem is another passage to personal growth and
change. Life begins to take on greater beauty as we open up
and appreciate ourselves. As we value and love ourselves, we
gain an acceptance of others. Self-esteem is something
we can change and when we do, everything in our life
changes. Self-esteem is simply the value we place on
ourselves. If we link it to
success, money, belongings and friends then we miss the
mark.
Out of true self-esteem, we create results. We become
healthier, happier and make a more significant contribution
in life.
What is Self Esteem?
Self esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. It is based
on your attitude to the following:
• Your value as a person
• The job you do
• Your achievements
• How you think others see you
• Your purpose in life
• Your place in the world
• Your potential for success
• Your strengths and weaknesses
• Your social status and how you relate to others
• Your independence or ability to stand on your own feet
What is Low Self Esteem?
Low self esteem results from you having a poor self image
caused by your attitude to one or more of the above.
Example: you do not value the job you do highly or you feel
you have no purpose in your life.
What is High Self Esteem?
High self esteem is the opposite! It is a very important
aspect of your life. If you have a high level you will be
confident, happy and sure of yourself. You would be highly
motivated and have the right attitude to succeed.
Self esteem is therefore crucial to you and is a cornerstone
of a positive attitude towards living.
Self confidence tips
Everybody needs a confidence boost sometimes, so here are a
few tips...
1) Feel Good When You Want
When you need to boost your self confidence or self esteem,
find 3 things that make you feel good. These could be
memories of good times, a piece of music, a holiday
souvenir, or a person's face - use photos if it helps.
Practise thinking about them and bringing them to mind.
Developing self confidence that lasts - because of the way
emotions 'attach' themselves to memories, you will quickly
train yourself to feel good when you want - a great help.
2) Beat Self Consciousness
Self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence.
Learn how to keep your attention off yourself. You can do
this easily by following these steps...
a) If you notice you have become self-conscious, (you can
usually tell because you start to feel anxious), choose
something 'everyday' you can see and study it in detail. For
example: examine a door, look at the different textures and
shades of colour, wonder about who made it and how
and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how
to keep your attention off yourself.
b) If you feel self-conscious in a social situation, it's
usually because you don't have enough to do! Focus on what
your purpose in the situation is. Whether you're there to:
• find out if you like the other people in the situation
• make others feel comfortable
• find out some information
• make business contacts
• and so on...
It's easy to feel self-conscious if you have nothing to do,
and much more difficult if your attention is occupied by a
task.
Think how comfortable you have been with others when you're
all working toward a common goal. The common goal of
socialising could be making friends, it could be the
exchange of mutually beneficial information, it could be
whatever you want it to be!
3) Don't Take Undue Criticism - Even From Yourself!
Challenge your own assumptions. Here's a few to get you
started:
a) Confident-looking people have bad moments too.
b) Just because you feel under-confident, doesn't mean other
people can tell.
c) If you're saying things to yourself like "You're no good
at anything" then rest assured, you're wrong. Everyone can
compose a sentence, get successfully to the store, and eat
without choking. Don't let yourself make sweeping statements
about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of thing
that can really damage your self image.
Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of
yourself; it's about not thinking bad for no reason!
d) Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past
doesn't mean you're always going to feel that way. I have
seen hundreds of people surprise themselves once they have
learned how to build self confidence in a way that it stays
built!
e) Learn how to develop your self confidence by following
the tips from this site and notice the small differences as
they happen. Persevere and don't expect everything at once.
Beating low self esteem is a wonderful thing, and it's much
easier than you'd imagine.
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| Fiona Gordon is a Business Manager and
National Educator for Vincent Davianny in Australia and New
Zealand. Fiona has many years experience in the beauty
industry, as an owner of salons, and with international
training and experience. She brings to our industry a wealth
of resources on health and wellbeing, and also on salon
management. Fiona can be contacted at
www.vincentdavianny.com.au |
